“Heteroflexible”? Really?

**From my Fetlife journal**

I suppose one of the surprises I’ve had visiting Fetlife is the available classification of sexual orientation called “heteroflexible”. I don’t identify as bi-sexual but list it as such because I have no issues playing with women (e.g. eating out, finger or dildo fucking, bringing to orgasm). However, I do not seek women out as partners,lovers, etc.

So when I looked up the term “heteroflexible” online to see if perhaps it’s a better fit for me here’s what I found.

Wikipedia: “Heteroflexibility is a form of a sexual orientation or situational sexual behavior characterized by minimal homosexual activity in an otherwise primarily heterosexual orientation that is considered to distinguish it from bisexuality. It has been characterized as “mostly straight”.[1] Although sometimes equated with bi-curiosity to describe a broad continuum of sexual orientation between heterosexuality and bisexuality,[2] other authors distinguish heteroflexibility as lacking the “wish to experiment with … sexuality” implied by the bi-curious label.[3] The corresponding situation in which homosexual activity predominates has also been described, termed homoflexibility.[4]”

Urban Dictionary.com (my favorite): “Heteroflexible: A primarily straight individual who, in certain situations can find persons of the same sex appealing.
*Max: Heteroflexible?
Frankie: It means I’m straight, but shit happens. * ”

I suppose over the 10+ years at swinger’s clubs and in my D/s relationship A LOT of “shit” has happened. But none of it made me question who or what I identify as. I certainly never woke up the day after playing with a woman with the mea culpas either. If asked in my vanilla world, I’d say I am “straight”. If asked in my darker world, I would be “bi”. But now I don’t think it’s a simple as this. Heteroflexible (a term that did make the dictionary only in 2010) may be more applicable.


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