When I was younger I longed for solitude. From my rebellious teenage years all the way into my early 40’s. I thought of the wonderful and exquisite time I could spend just doing and living for me.
Now it’s here. And I dread the long hours alone and in silence. I try to will the cats and dog to speak back. They don’t.
The work routine brings some movement to my tongue and vocal chords for about 40 hours a week. But that’s a superficial environment. It just enables me to continue the solitude.
What an exquisitely defining moment it is when you realize all you ached for is not what you wanted.